My Mum Doesn’t Realise I’m Healing Her While We Drink Tea

Some days when I visit my mum, we laugh until we cry and reminisce about old memories. Other days, dementia is louder.

She might be tired, confused, withdrawn, or simply not up for conversation. Over the years, I’ve learnt not to force those days into becoming something they’re not. Instead, I meet her where she is.

What I do for work has completely changed the way I support her.

If she’s having a good day, we flow with it. We go out for lunch, wander around the shops, chat about life, and enjoy the little traditions we’ve always shared together. I consciously prepare my energy before I see her because I know how important calm, grounding, and emotional safety are.

If she’s having a more difficult day, everything becomes gentler.

A cup of tea.

A quiet conversation.

A slower pace.

And while we sit there talking, little does she know that I’m often working energetically with her at the same time.

Not in a dramatic way. Not in a “fixing” way. Just holding space for clarity, comfort, remembrance, and emotional safety.

Because of the work I do, I’ve learnt how to see beneath the surface. I can often feel what’s happening underneath the words, underneath the mask people wear when they’re trying to convince the world they’re okay.

Sometimes during these moments, my mum opens up emotionally. She cries. She speaks honestly about her fears and worries. She finds her voice again. And in those moments, I can feel something soften inside her. I can feel her receive love.

My mum went through a very difficult relationship later in life, and eventually, in her seventies, she did something incredibly brave. One morning, she packed her bags and left.

No real plan.

Nowhere to go.

Just a deep knowing that she couldn’t stay there anymore.

I will always be proud of her for that.

She came back home to family, to familiarity, to the place where her roots began.

And although dementia had already begun quietly waiting in the background, I truly believe returning home helped her reconnect with herself again.

She’s now been living with dementia for several years, and honestly, I think she’s doing incredibly well.

She has wonderful carers who support her daily, and I spend as much time with her as I can. We’ve even returned to one of our old traditions. Years ago, when I was pregnant, we started meeting once a week for lunch. That eventually became shopping trips and lunch dates together, and after she moved back home, we started doing it all over again.

Those moments mean everything to me now.

This experience has changed the way I see healing, energy, connection, and the work I do in the world.

Because I don’t just talk about this work theoretically — I witness its impact in real life. I see how emotional safety changes someone. I see how being truly seen can soften fear. I see how love, presence, gentleness, and energetic awareness can help someone feel less alone, even in the middle of dementia.

And for that, I’m deeply grateful.